How do you learn to make time for yourself and make alone time a positive experience? In her blog, student Brinda Paruthi explains how she did just that.

Everyone says “University is the best time of your life. You’ll never forget those years.”

Well, yeah, I’ll forever be haunted by the thought of forgetting to hit submit before 3pm on ELE on a Monday. That aside, why did I spend my first few weeks wondering why I wasn’t in a group with plans five nights a week?

I’ve always felt the pressure to be ‘doing more’—especially first year.

It was like seeing a bunch of cool kids from a teen movie grab lunch while I was in the audience — but honestly, I liked it that way. In my opinion, being in a crowd is being stuck in that one YouTube ad that just won’t let you hit ‘skip’.

But was this wrong?

It took me a while to realise that this might not be a new feeling, it can’t just be me, and it wasn’t an invalid feeling either.

If you’re someone who feels a bit off-track because you’re not out every night or in three group chats for brunch plans, this one’s for you.

Here’s how I learned to embrace alone time at uni – and why it became one of the best parts of my student experience.

Now, if you’re starting this read with the idea that you “need to be fixed”, the only thing that needs fixing is that perspective.

You’re not doing uni “wrong.”

Once I reframed alone time as intentional, not accidental, it changed everything. I started looking forward to it. Here are some things that helped me romanticise it (because we love a main character moment):

  • Reading something for fun (yes, not for seminar prep)
  • Journaling or free-writing
  • Visiting different cafés and rating their lattes
  • Stargazing (a personal favourite) – Exeter has lovely clear skies.
  • Going on walks or cycle rides around Exeter (the Quay, St Catherine’s, anywhere with ducks)
  • Cooking a meal just for yourself and making a whole evening of it
  • Getting a student membership at the Sports Park and moving your body in a way that feels good
  • Binge-watch a show without having to share snacks!

The constant noise on campus and the overwhelming experience of being a student can easily make you feel disconnected from who you are and where you stand. Who are you outside of being a student?

You slowly realise this phase of being alone will slowly open you up in a different way to yourself and your preferences. Take time to reflect on your habits, not to criticise them, but to make your days more beneficial to you.

You’re not avoiding people – it just means finding your rhythm. You can always join societies with chill vibes (board games, creative writing, volunteering, you can even walk someone else’s dogs or meet the friendly therapy doggos every week on campus – links to all below, bestie) then you can go on one-on-one coffee dates!!!

But back to where we started: Reframe Alone Time. It’s an opportunity. If you’re spending more nights in than out, prefer a quiet flat to a busy one, or just feel more yourself when you’ve had some space, don’t stress. Being alone isn’t a weakness. It’s a powerful skill. University is about finding what works for you, and more importantly, finding yourself.

Use this opportunity to know yourself a little better and fall in love with yourself a lot more.

Bonus – My top random recommendations (over 3 years):

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