We were delighted to recently hear from alumnus Ian Bailey (Geography, 1979) about his group of alumni friends that celebrated the 25th anniversary of their regular catch ups this December.
Of the 12 people in their group, which meets in London several times a year, nine are Exeter alumni. Several of the geographers in the group graduated in 1979 (Neil Southall, Charles Thuaire, Ian Bailey, Dave Miller, John Buckle, Alan Cottee) and became friends mainly through lectures, tutorials, Sunday League Football, pub visits and field trips (one to Paris was particularly memorable). Neil met Nigel Gibbins (Politics, 1979) and Peter Tuffs (Geography, 1980) at Duryard halls of residence. John and Ian met Jim Brown (Politics, 1979) through Birks Hall; Jim and Nigel met through studying Politics. Several of the group also married Exeter alumnae and many of their children have also gone on to study at Exeter. They also shared, “Sadly Ian Brialey from this group died from a heart attack in 1997, but we remember his gentle wit and still miss him. He would certainly have been part of our Lads Night Out group.”
Studying at Exeter was a wonderful time for all the group. They fondly remember, “the beautiful campus and city, lovely surrounding countryside and coast, and the opportunity to make new friends with similar outlooks on life. We would have a tea break in Devonshire House (hot blackcurrant was cheap and popular), which also often involved a game of table football.“ After graduating the group went their separate ways – some travelling, others straight into work. Some kept closer in touch and made a couple of early reunion trips to Exeter in 1980. Three of the group (Nigel, David and Ian) shared a house in Tottenham in the late 1980s, where some memorable parties took place. There were a few weddings in the 1980s, acting in their own way as good reunions and a means of keeping in touch. Most of the group also ended up working in or near London which helped and many are still in touch nearly 50 years later.
The group’s regular catch-ups began in London in December 2000 when they were in their 40s and when most of them had families and steady jobs. Ian shares that in addition to the nine alumni, non-Exeter contacts joined the group over the years and the group now totals 12, adding that, “Kevin, Fred and Will are much-valued members of the group, despite having the atrocious bad luck of not studying at Exeter University.”
In the first two or three years the group met irregularly (around three or four times a year), but then the ‘hard-core’ faction of the friendship group started a system whereby they each organised one meeting in London a year, so the number of the self-titled ‘Lads Nights Out’ (LNOs) began to increase. The meetings started out as being drinks after work followed by a meal at 8pm. The range of pubs and restaurants in London is huge and the group note they have visited some great places.
Adding, “Nearly all of us are real ale fans, spoilt by the 20p pints at Exeter in 1976, so woe betide anyone who fails to choose a pub without good ales. We started out in an Indian restaurant but have expanded our cuisines considerably since then, including Iranian, Russian, Eritrean, Somali, Filipino and Georgian, for some putting their Geography degrees to practical effect.”
(Pictured: January 2005 meeting. From left John, Jim, Neil, Nigel, Kevin, Dave. In front Charles and Ian.)
The gatherings have evolved during the years as many of the group are fully retired and do not live in London. But they still never do more than seven or eight meetings a year. With the increased time available, Ian notes they have transformed the meetings to “Lads Days and Nights Out (LDNOs for acronym fans)”. They start at lunchtime, do some sightseeing or walking in the afternoon, eat and leave earlier. The group have been able to explore more areas of London and also spend more time in more pubs, often fitting in three or four in during a meeting. Ian emphasises that, “There is something wonderful still about meeting friends in a classic British pub.” They have also, since 2005, managed annual ‘Lads Weekends Away (LWAs)’, to do some walking and since 2018 they started ‘Lads Walking Weeks Away (LWWAs)’ every other year. In 2022, six of the friends even went to the Balkans for a ‘Lads Month Away (LMA)’ – a true testament to the strength of their friendship.
The organisation of these events have also become easier with introduction of internet and Whatsapp since their university days and the group shared that “We struggle to remember how we were able to organise things at University in the 1970s when some of us lived in accommodation without landlines. Devonshire House and Cornwall House had message boards where we could leave hand-written notes; and we could pass messages on at lectures.”
The pandemic put a different spin on their meetings with the friends recalling that, “The first, and only, time we managed to get all 12 of us attending an event, was – by chance? – in March 2020 when Covid was looming. After we had recovered from the shock of lockdown, we started Lads Nights In (LNIs – it’s always good to get a new acronym) on Zoom. This was a chance to have some wider conversations about childhood, hobbies and favourite things.”
Lockdown also gave Ian Bailey the time to develop a spreadsheet of all the activities in the ‘Lads’ franchise; as well as a Google map showing all the pubs they have visited in London.
As well as all of these adventures, the friends have also returned to Exeter for anniversary reunions in 2004, 2014 and 2019 with the support of the Alumni team, and have attended various events organised by the alumni team in London. Next year will be 50 years since most of the group started at the University of Exeter and from all they’ve shared they’ve certainly packed lots of life and friendship into those years.
To mark their 25th anniversary of these gatherings the group met on Friday 12 December (pictured), and their visit included three of the earliest pubs they had visited, starting at the Head of Steam (now called Doric Arch) at Euston station, then the Lamb in Lamb’s Conduit Street, followed by the Marquess of Anglesey in Covent Garden, the very first pub they frequented. They also ate again at the Strand Tandoori in Covent Garden, and all of the group except Peter were able to attend.
When asked about what friendship means to the group, they reflected “We greatly value the deep friendships that we have built up over the years. The three years at Exeter were formative and memorable years for us all and we are very grateful still to be in close touch with a group of friends from those days. Although more than that, it has been pointed out that we are a support network, especially during difficult times such as ill health and family bereavement. As we have grown older together and shared experiences, the more we have to talk about and empathise with each other in our lives.”
They went on to add that in terms of hopes for future meetings, the group hopes to continue meeting up for as long as they can, elaborating that “We foresee a time when the Lads Nights Out will have morphed into Lads Days Out (LDOs). Which one of us will be the first to escape from a care home to attend a LDO? Will we need to use AI to remember news from the others to pass on to wives and partners the following day? We already have a week-long walking trip planned along the Tamar Way in April next year. This will bring us close to Exeter which will be a temptation to visit too strong to ignore for most.”
Have you got an Exeter friendship story to share? Drop us a message on our socials or reach out via email at alumni@exeter.ac.uk to let us know.